Changing from Correction to Connection: How We Miss Connecting Moments Everday

How to take everday moments and make them into connnecting moments.

Sometimes we get stuck in the correction mode of parenting. We give directions and consequences without knowing the true cause of the behavior because we are often feeling rushed or are juggling multiple tasks at a time. But when we are in the correction mode of parenting, we miss the opportunity to both connect and teach. As difficult as it is to not to get caught up in the mode of correcting behavior, our children are better served when we are able to take a moment to understand. Using the motto coined by Stephen Covey to seek first to understand, then to be understood will help us to be better parents. If we can take the time to understand what our children are reacting to and how they are feeling at that moment. Then we can help them to feel understood which forges a strong connection. Once empowered with this understanding, we can now help them label and understand their feelings and reactions and then be better able to teach them a new way of managing that emotion without the negative behavior. Of course, this is not a one-time occurrence; they will have to be coached many times on the same topic until they have been able to practice it numerous times and are mature enough to respond differently. Keep in mind that change is hard even for adults, and sometimes, we still overreact instead of responding appropriately. I think we can cut them some slack. They want to please us; we just have to give them the time and tools necessary to do so.

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