As humans, it is perfectly normal to feel anxious. Some of us may feel it more than others, but we all feel it. I believe we can use our moments of anxiousness to teach our kids that it is not only normal but it can also be useful. It can help us not jump headlong into a dangerous situation. It can make us study harder for a test etc.
When you are feeling anxious and talk your feelings with your child you are helping them to know that it is okay to have those feelings and that they are manageable. You can teach them how you have learned to manage your anxiety by deep breathing, going for a walk, taking a hot bath etc. By sharing your experiences and then modeling coping skills this will teach your children how to accept and manage their own anxiety.
If you do not have a healthy way of managing anxiety, I have provided links below to some helpful sites. Anxiety in kids has increased exponentially in our society. It is important for us to have and model healthy coping skills so that our children are prepared to manage their anxiety and hopefully not ever get to the point of it being too overwhelming for them that they are crippled by it.
Not to be confused with burdening our kids with our feelings and concerns. Please use your best judgment before sharing with your child.
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/in-practice/201503/50-strategies-beat-anxiety
https://copingskillsforkids.com/calming-anxiety/
https://www.realsimple.com/health/mind-mood/emotional-health/ten-ways-to-cope-with-anxiety
https://medium.com/@hilaryjacobshendel/on-anxiety-why-its-an-important-signal-c18fa0778fe4
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Published by Parenting For Good Mental Health
Hello,
My name is Tricia. I am the proud mom of two amazing young men.
My youngest son was always a very energetic and highly reactive child. Life with him was often like a roller coaster ride. He had to work very hard to learn how to manage his emotions and behaviors. By the time he turned 10, he had learned to manage them fairly well. But one night while watching the movie The Mummy, his anxiety was triggered. Night after night, he just could not get the scary images out of his head. This went on for almost a year where he would cry in bed at night. Nothing we tried seemed to help. So we decided to take him to see a psychiatrist where he was diagnosed with an anxiety disorder, depression, OCD, and bipolar disorder.
Unfortunately, the care and medications that he received from various professionals did not really help. By educating myself, I began to learn that there were many more options that had not been provided or suggested. I believe that had I had more information sooner; his care could have been better tailored to his needs. This was a very difficult time not only for my son but for our entire family. We had to develop new ways of interacting that did not cause fights over the littlest things. We had to learn the hard way what not to do in a crisis. My husband had to learn that you don’t have to have a reason to be depressed or anxious. Sometimes you just are. And that it is not helpful to say to a depressed person, that they have no reason to be depressed. Having never experienced these feelings himself, my husband really struggled with understanding these things. But now that he gets it, he wishes he would have understood sooner so he could have been more supportive to our son in the beginning.
Thankfully, our son has found his own way through the darkness. And he has developed some skills and tools for managing his mental illness. His path could have been easier and less painful for him had we known about these other options sooner.
As parents and caregivers we need to educate ourselves on their illnesses and the evidence based care options that are out there. We have a limited number of clinicians that treat children and teens, so we sometimes only get to see them once a month. What kind of impact do you think you could have on your child if you only saw him once a month? We need to bring as much to the table as possible. The clinicians can only work with the information they are given. The more you can tell them the better they will be able to tailor your child’s care to his needs. We also need to know how to be the parents our child needs because what works for other kids does not always work for ours.
I would like to help educate others so that their path to recovery might be made shorter. There is a lot of support out there, but sometimes we do not hear about it. NAMI is the first support that I will recommend.
NAMI the National Alliance on Mental Illness is the largest grassroots mental health organization in America. Through NAMI you will find support and education that can help you to better facilitate the care your child needs. https://www.nami.org/
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