One of my biggest pet peeves is when people judge another person’s parenting skills. There are so many things that go into making us the parents that we are. Sometimes we are trying to do things differently than how we were raised. Sometimes despite wanting to do things differently we unknowingly fall into the same patterns. Sometimes we have read and read all the books that we can get our hands on just to be confused by all of the conflicting advice that seems to change from one generation to the next. Sometimes we are just lucky to be able to keep them alive because we are in over our heads with life and with parenting. In none of these situations does judgement help.
I wish that we could set aside the judgement and rally together as parents, as a community, as people. We need to step up and offer encouragement and help if the person needs and wants it. Too often though we sit and gossip never considering the other person’s point of view. Maybe they are doing it just right for their kids, and we don’t have a clue about what we are judging. Or maybe they are struggling and could use a helping hand instead of snarky comments.
Try and put yourself in their shoes or better yet don’t because you probably do not have all the facts to even attempt to step into their shoes. Instead, think of a time or times that you have felt ridiculed and judged and remember what that was like. Remember how unfair it all felt. Remember how hard you struggled to do it all right. Then offer a smile instead of a frown, offer a hand instead of a condemnation, and offer some loving, nonjudgmental advice (when asked for). Give encouragement, give your time, give of your resources. Give them what they need which may just be your silence. But mostly, please, please do not be that person who tears others down in the hopes of lifting themselves up.