I have only just recently come out of a pretty dark place. I felt as though I didn’t even have the energy to just exist day to day moment to moment. It was a place where I could not even empathize with the pain I would leave behind if I were to just quit. Oh, I knew it logically but had trouble actually identifying with it.
Sometimes, I would cry and other times I felt too smothered by it all to be able to do even that. And to try to express it to anyone was nearly impossible because if I tried I would become too overwhelmed to continue. I don’t know if you have ever been depressed, but it’s a pretty lonely place. You don’t know how to share your thoughts and feelings. It all seems too small compared to the pain that is dragging you under.
I hope you never experience it. I hope that if you do experience it and can’t yet talk to somebody in detail that you will at least let them know that you are hurting. And then begin to write whatever comes to mind. I know some of you think this wouldn’t work for you. Just try it and see. It will open up so much that you didn’t realize you were thinking or feeling. Sometimes, you even find that you knew the solution all along.
Maybe like me, you need permission from someone you respect to take that first step out of the darkness. Stop punishing yourself. Stop feeling the weight of guilt that may or may not be yours.
Guilt isn’t meant to hold us down. It is meant to be a catalyst for change. Remember also that the Lord is with us, and when we allow Him in, He will see us through it all.
Think of those who we have heard about that have been through so much that you wonder at them still being here. I ask you to remember the hope and strength that their stories have given to us and to imagine how your pain and your sorrow, can be that hope and strength for someone else.
Jeremiah 29:11New International Version (NIV)
11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
Published by Parenting For Good Mental Health
My name is Tricia. I am the proud mom of two amazing young men.
My youngest son was always a very energetic and highly reactive child. Life with him was often like a roller coaster ride. He had to work very hard to learn how to manage his emotions and behaviors. By the time he turned 10, he had learned to manage them fairly well. But one night while watching the movie The Mummy, his anxiety was triggered. Night after night, he just could not get the scary images out of his head. This went on for almost a year where he would cry in bed at night. Nothing we tried seemed to help. So we decided to take him to see a psychiatrist where he was diagnosed with an anxiety disorder, depression, OCD, and bipolar disorder.
Unfortunately, the care and medications that he received from various professionals did not really help. By educating myself, I began to learn that there were many more options that had not been provided or suggested. I believe that had I had more information sooner; his care could have been better tailored to his needs. This was a very difficult time not only for my son but for our entire family. We had to develop new ways of interacting that did not cause fights over the littlest things. We had to learn the hard way what not to do in a crisis. My husband had to learn that you don’t have to have a reason to be depressed or anxious. Sometimes you just are. And that it is not helpful to say to a depressed person, that they have no reason to be depressed. Having never experienced these feelings himself, my husband really struggled with understanding these things. But now that he gets it, he wishes he would have understood sooner so he could have been more supportive to our son in the beginning.
Thankfully, our son has found his own way through the darkness. And he has developed some skills and tools for managing his mental illness. His path could have been easier and less painful for him had we known about these other options sooner.
As parents and caregivers we need to educate ourselves on their illnesses and the evidence based care options that are out there. We have a limited number of clinicians that treat children and teens, so we sometimes only get to see them once a month. What kind of impact do you think you could have on your child if you only saw him once a month? We need to bring as much to the table as possible. The clinicians can only work with the information they are given. The more you can tell them the better they will be able to tailor your child’s care to his needs. We also need to know how to be the parents our child needs because what works for other kids does not always work for ours.
I would like to help educate others so that their path to recovery might be made shorter. There is a lot of support out there, but sometimes we do not hear about it. NAMI is the first support that I will recommend.
NAMI the National Alliance on Mental Illness is the largest grassroots mental health organization in America. Through NAMI you will find support and education that can help you to better facilitate the care your child needs. https://www.nami.org/
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What skills, tools, and other options? It would be very helpful to know this, since we’ve pretty much exhausted all known options at this point. And it is now exhausting us! With no end in sight. 😥
Sorry, I just saw this. For me, it is reminding myself that I have done my best. And replacing negative thoughts with more positive ones. It is still a work in progress. Some days these work better than others.
Reblogged this on parentingforgoodmenatlhealth.com.